I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
