just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
