There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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