lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
