We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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