It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
