i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize