Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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