you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
