What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
