its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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