you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
