Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize