You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
