What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
