oh god the rape fog is back!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize