Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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