gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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