I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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