shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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