I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
