Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
