I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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