somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
