U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
