i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
