idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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