If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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