you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
