Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
