bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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