well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
