At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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