we're chasing vodka with high fives
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize