how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
