Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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