Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
