And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
