the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you never un-have a 4some
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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