Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
