This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
