didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
