i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize