Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize