Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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