this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
