so explain again why im purple
no
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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