Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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