Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
