i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just googled if crying burns calories
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize