I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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