So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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