I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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