I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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