Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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