I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
