no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
