god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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