She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
