You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
