Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So vagazzling was a success
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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