I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
