dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
