he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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