stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
