she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
