Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
